When I think back on my life, I can see this tendency to never leave the house unprepared throughout my school years. It really came to a head when I had my first kid, though. The diaper bag was a new wonderland of possibility with all its pockets and zippers, compartments and detachable gear. It had a place for everything a parent would need to make sure they were prepared in any emergency, and I had plenty of emergencies. As the kids grew larger, and the need for a diaper bag became less, they still had emergency needs that needed to be prepared for. This is really when the mom-purse came into play for me.
I was already used to toting large bags around with me everywhere, and since I no longer had to deal with the strollers and diapers, it felt like a much lighter burden to only have the one purse. Now, it would have made sense to stop expecting there to be so many possible emergencies, but I was hooked on having whatever I or anyone might need for themselves or their children within reach inside my gigantic, multi-compartment, zippers-for-days, well-organized mom-purse. I mean, how cool was I that if your kid needed a snack I could pull one out of my magic bag and make everything better? And what about all those first aid needs? Come see me! What if you have a splinter? Feel free to use my tweezers! Hands cracked and dry? I've got several options in lotion available in case you have a preference. Phone out of juice? What type of charger do you need because I've got two basic ones! And external chargers just in case there are no well sockets.
I could go on and on, but I won't because I'm pretty sure you get the picture. I'm like a doomsday prepper for everyday life. I heard a news story once about airplane crashes where some scientific group had studied who survives and who doesn't survive all types of crashes. They found that the people who were most likely to survive were the ones that took the time to consider where the exits are and played out several scenarios where they would need to take action in their minds before the plane even took off. Since these people already had an idea of what they would do in certain situations, they were much more likely to actually take those actions when the scenarios became real-life emergencies. They were not frozen in fear, rather they acted and that action ended up saving their lives.
I can identify with those people. I can say very confidently that I would not only survive a plane crash, I would be able to survive any disaster I may find myself in. While this is a good quality to have, it begs the question: what is it about daily life that qualifies as a disaster I must survive? Because that's how I'm treating it with my bag full of remedies for any eventuality. I have tried to slim down in the past, and have suffered such anxiety over what might happen if I find myself without something "important" that I ended up adding more and more just in case.
The biggest thing I have always had to work on in my relationship with God/Christ/Holy Spirit is trusting him to take care of me and relying on him to guide my life. While I have made great strides in some areas, my mom-purse is the last major hold-out that is holding me back. I recognize that I have been putting all my faith in my purse to provide whatever I need at the moment, and I have been relying on myself to make sure the purse is ready at all times to provide for me. It is all about me and God is nowhere to be seen. I want to change this! My mom-purse is a sad replacement for the true care God is offering me and has proven he gives me.
In the next post, I will have some verses to share in this theme.
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